5 Ways to Build Your Teen’s Executive Function Skills

You’ve probably heard the phrase “adulting is hard.” It certainly can be true; being a grownup sometimes is a real drag. As you age into adulthood, your responsibilities typically grow. Teens learn to drive, finish high school and may take a part-time job. After high school, they decide whether to go to college, find a job, pursue job training or move out of the family home. 

As responsibilities grow, so too does the need for executive functioning. Executive function skills help us make decisions, complete tasks and control our emotions. According to the paper, “Building the Brain’s ‘Air Traffic Control’ System: How Early Experiences Shape the Development of Executive Function” from the Center of the Developing Child at Harvard University, “In the brain, this air traffic control mechanism is called executive function. This refers to a group of skills that helps us to focus on multiple streams of information at the same time, monitor errors, make decisions in light of available information, revise plans as necessary and resist the urge to let frustration lead to hasty actions.”

According to Brown University Health, these are executive function skills:

• initiation, or getting started 
• inhibition, or being able to stop 
• flexibility, or the ability to shift between physical or mental tasks 
• emotional control 
• working memory (remembering one- or two-step instructions, for example) 
• organization 
• planning 
• self-monitoring

While these skills typically develop as children learn and grow, having executive function skills isn’t a guarantee. The Center of the Developing Child at Harvard University states, “Contrary to popular belief, learning to control impulses, pay attention and retain information actively in one’s memory does not happen automatically as children mature, and young children who have problems with these skills will not necessarily outgrow them.” In other words, some children, teens and even adults will need help developing these skills. Children with ADHD, autism and other learning challenges often have a harder time developing executive function skills.

“Executive function skills usually take 25 years to fully develop, and it’s typically longer for neurodiverse individuals,” says Karmen Nyberg, Fraser Sensory Supports and Training Program Specialist and Occupational Therapist. 

Here are 5 ways you can help your teen develop executive function skills.

Remove distractions
Though it may be harder for kids and teens who are neurodivergent to develop executive function skills, parents can help their children succeed. One way to help neurodiverse individuals focus is to remove distractions from spaces. Brown University Health states, “Modifying the environment helps children organize their thoughts, materials and time, giving them more energy to focus on what they need to start the task and plan ahead. It reduces the child’s sense of feeling overwhelmed and bridges the gap between task expectations and the child’s executive functioning challenges.” To help teens focus on homework, put them in a space that is quiet and screen-free. You might have them complete homework at the dining table or kitchen counter, so they aren’t distracted by toys and video gaming equipment. 

However, since homework is often completed on a Chromebook or computer, being screen-free might be impossible. Instead, you could hold their phone during homework time or have them put their phone on airplane mode to prevent distraction. Don’t assume they know how to do this; show them.

Noise-cancelling headphones and your child’s preferred lighting can improve focus. Encourage them to experiment with different environments and help them find what works for them. This not only builds independence, but also strengthens self-monitoring and problem-solving skills.

Teach them to break a task down 
As Brown University Health states, initiation, or the ability to start a task, is an executive function skill. Since starting is often the hardest part, help your teen by breaking a task into manageable chunks. The OT Toolbox gives the example of cleaning the bathroom and states, “Highlight all the areas that need to be cleaned. Demonstrate what ‘clean’ means, and how they will know something is clean. Point out things like spittle around the sink, dirt around the toilet bowl and dust bunnies in the corners.” You could suggest they start by cleaning the toilet, first using toilet bowl cleaner with a brush, and then wiping down the entire toilet with cleaning wipes. Then suggest they clean the sink and shower, and finish by sweeping and mopping the floor. You could also create a checklist for cleaning the bathroom, which provides an easy reference for a teen or child to use. 

The OT Toolbox also states, “You can play quality inspector when rewarding for a completed chore. At first, expect some mistakes, and some things you will have to go over after they have finished.” Maybe they forgot to sweep before they mopped, so there’s still debris on the floor. Or maybe, they forgot to scrub the bottom of the shower. 

If you’re rewarding your teen for a task, you can hold off on the reward until they finish cleaning as asked, or give them a partial reward for their initial effort. Following the correct steps and learning to control emotions are also executive function skills. So, by pointing out steps missed, you’re helping a teen strengthen additional executive function skills.  

Create routines
Routines can also help children accomplish tasks and encourage independence. When we think of a child arriving home from school, you might picture meeting them at the school bus, walking home together, making them an after-school snack and then having them start on their homework. There’s a reason why this routine has been adopted by many; routines help children complete tasks. The Child Mind Institute states, “Educational specialists recommend starting homework at the same time every day. Expect some resistance from older kids, who often prefer to wait until they feel like doing their work. Dr. Cruger strongly advises against waiting to start homework.”

The same can be said for other types of tasks that require executive function skills, like doing the laundry, cleaning your bedroom or going grocery shopping. Planning a set time or day makes it easier to initiate a task and also builds important organization and planning skills.  
The time may vary depending on the child. Some children need a break right after school to get some exercise and have a snack. Others need to start homework while they are still in school-mode, like right after school when there is still some momentum left.

Help create reminders
Many adults rely on Post-it notes, planners and calendars to remember upcoming tasks and appointments. Your teen can benefit from these reminders too, particularly as they become more independent and start secondary education and/or pursue a job. 

Smartphones and smartwatches have calendar apps where you can add appointment reminders. There are many other calendar apps like Google Calendar, Calendly, etc. Some may prefer a paper planner, particularly for tracking daily assignments and appointments. And there’s something to be said for the simplicity of a Post-it note stuck to the front door, reminding a teen to grab their lunch for the day. 

While these ideas may seem obvious, teens and young adults might not know about or think they need these options. Nyberg suggests framing reminders as a tool for success rather than a crutch or a sign of weakness. Using reminders isn’t a sign that someone is forgetful — it’s a strategy that helps even the most successful adults stay on top of their responsibilities. 

Share with your teen how reminders help you, and then encourage them to engage in some trial-and-error to see what works for them. Reminders help with the initiation step and also help teens develop their planning, organization and self-monitoring skills.

Explain the importance of planning and problem-solving
Most adults understand the importance of planning. When you’re getting ready to paint a room, you visit the paint store and bring home a few paint chips. After selecting the color, you purchase paint along with a roller, paint tray, brush, painter’s tape and a tarp. Before starting, you tape off the edges, move or cover furniture and put on old clothes. If you’d just bought paint, you might have hated the color or have been missing a roller. Not to mention, not taping edges or covering furniture likely means paint on the ceiling, the floor and your furniture. 

However, children and teens don’t inherently understand planning makes your task more successful and can be the difference between failure and success. The Child Mind Institute states, “While a child is learning new skills, it is essential that they understand the rationale behind them, or things like planning might feel like a waste of time or needless energy drain. Kids with poor organizational skills often feel pressured by their time commitments and responsibilities, and can be very averse to delay.” In other words, children and teens might simply skip the planning step, unless you explain why planning is important.

Maybe ask them to help you bake a cake, and use that multi-step process to illustrate the importance of planning. Without planning, you might not even have the ingredients to get started, which means no cake for anyone.

“It’s also important to teach teens that unexpected events may require adjusting their plan, rather than abandoning it altogether. Encourage them to problem-solve when issues come up,” says Nyberg.

Teens don’t automatically learn executive function skills as they grow. However, you can help your teen improve and develop these skills, so they can manage daily responsibilities more effectively. However, developing these skills isn’t just about following a checklist. It also requires flexibility and self-monitoring. 

As teens take on more responsibilities, these skills become crucial for managing both daily tasks and long-term goals. Plans won’t always go smoothly, and distractions, schedule changes, or unexpected challenges are inevitable. By helping teens recognize when they need to adjust their approach, you’re teaching them to problem-solve rather than shut down. Encouraging them to reflect on what’s working and what isn’t builds confidence in their ability to manage tasks independently. When they learn to adapt and course-correct on their own, they develop the skills needed to navigate life with greater ease.