6 Ways to Manage Caregiver Fatigue

Many of us are caregivers. Parents care for children, but you may also be a caregiver for your parent, friend or significant other. Some professions, like teachers, doctors, therapists and home healthcare aides, even have jobs as caregivers. We all know that caring for others can be incredibly rewarding, but at the same time, it’s exhausting and can often feel like a thankless job. This is particularly true if the person you’re caring for has a high level of needs, like some children with autism, mental or behavioral health issues and disabilities.

Ask for help

Being a caregiver doesn’t mean you have to do everything yourself. Taking care of a loved one leaves you with less time to do regular tasks, like laundry, mowing the lawn or grocery shopping. You likely have other people in your life who would love to help. Mayo Clinic suggests, “Make a list of ways in which others can help you. Then let them choose how to help.” This lets people know what you need help with, and it also gives your friends or loved ones some autonomy to pitch in a way that feels comfortable.

Let some things go

When life is super busy and overwhelming, you may feel like you can still pack it all in. Maybe you have a friend who seems to do it all, and you admire them. Or maybe you’ve been brought up to value “the grind.” But the truth is that the grind usually just grinds you down. Doing everything on top of taking care of someone feels like too much because it is too much. We all need time to relax, unwind and not be racing from one thing to the next. So, pick up takeout on the way home, leave the dishes in the sink and, absolutely, skip hosting dinner for your entire extended family.

Break up your to-do lists

When you’re raising kids — particularly kids with autism, mental or behavioral health issues, or disabilities — you have a lot on your plate. In addition to all the typical kid things, you’re likely juggling therapy and doctor appointments. But you still have a home to maintain, bills to pay and other responsibilities. Mayo Clinic suggests, “Break large tasks into smaller steps that you can do one at a time.” Instead of cleaning the house, focus on cleaning one room each evening. Or, dust one day, vacuum the next day and put clutter away on another day.

Make time for friends and family

Making time for social connection is important; it helps keep your life balanced. So, whether you meet for coffee or a walk around the lake, find regular time to spend with friends and family. If meeting in person feels too overwhelming, set aside time for a long phone call, or ask them to come to you. Socializing helps you relax and be yourself, outside of your role as a caregiver.

Consider joining a therapy group

You may find that individual therapy is helpful to process your feelings.  However, you may also want to consider group therapy, where you can connect with other caregivers who may be going through many of the same things as you. Fraser offers many options, including an Emerging Adult Caregiver Support Group, which provides an opportunity to connect with other parents and caregivers of neurodiverse young adults. This group meets over Zoom and lasts for 12 weeks. Fraser Child-Adult Relationship Enhancement (CARE) is a therapy group for parents and caregivers of teens with a mental health diagnosis. This group meets over Zoom for 8 weeks. For more information about group therapy options at Fraser, email Chris Emery at chris.emery@fraser.org.

Take care of your physical health

When you’re caring for someone else, it’s easy to let your self-care practices slide. However, taking care of yourself makes you a better caretaker. So, make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating well and taking even just a few minutes to yourself every day. That could mean getting up a little early for some quiet time in the morning or taking a short break during your day to go for a walk or read a book. Remember to practice good sleep hygiene, too.

Good sleep hygiene includes going to bed about the same time each evening and having a wind-down routine. Your routine might include washing your face, brushing your teeth, doing some stretches and reading for 30 minutes. A wind-down routine helps signal to your body that it’s time to sleep. It’s also important to avoid screens for about 30-60 minutes before you go to bed.