6 Ways to Raise Grateful Children

Parents want to raise their children to be kind, thoughtful and empathetic. One way to encourage these behaviors is to teach them to recognize and express gratitude.

According to Verywell Mind, “One older study found that grateful children (ages 11 to 13) are happier, more optimistic, and have better social support. They also report more satisfaction with their schools, families, communities, friends, and themselves. Grateful kids also tend to give more social support to others as well.”

Here are six ways to teach your children to be grateful.

Thank you can be a first step

Most parents teach kids to say thank you from a young age. You want your child to learn to be polite, but more than that, you want them to be grateful. Verywell Mind states, “While it may seem like forcing a ‘thank you’ doesn’t stir up any real gratitude, consider it a first step in the process. It can help kids start to recognize when others have given them something, whether tangible (like a gift) or intangible (like time).” When they start to notice, they are more likely to feel gratitude and acknowledge it on their own.  

Express gratitude to your children

Modeling good behavior is an essential part of being a parent. You can model gratitude by regularly thanking your children for good behavior. If your child cleans up their room well, thank them for doing a good job cleaning their room. If they draw you a nice picture, thank them for the gift. If they help you set the table, thank them for helping and making the task easier and more fun.

Not only does this model gratitude for them, it also teaches them how nice it feels when someone says thank you. This also instills the importance of showing appreciation.

Reflect on good things

It’s a common practice at Thanksgiving celebrations to share something you’re thankful for. But we shouldn’t just reflect on gratitude one day a year. Regularly share things you’re grateful to have in your life, and it doesn’t always have to be big things. Point out a beautiful leaf, revel in a tasty cup of hot chocolate or acknowledge a nice walk with the dog. Share your delight and gratitude with your child, so they learn to appreciate small joys.

Talk about how gratitude feels

Some children have a harder time understanding other’s emotions. Though this isn’t true of all people with autism, it is a common trait among autistic individuals. Talking with your child about how hearing someone say “thank you” can teach them emotional insight. Child Mind Institute states, “Try asking your child how they feel when people say thank you to them for doing something nice, and then how they feel when they don’t. Going over his own feelings will help them understand how his behavior affects others and make it easier for them to understand the emotional benefits of being grateful.”

Explore other ways to “say” thank you

Saying thank you is great, but there are other ways to show appreciation. Perhaps your child wants to paint their grandma a picture instead of writing a thank you. Or, maybe your child is shy or doesn’t use spoken language. You can teach them that when they feel grateful for a kindness they’ve received, they can thank someone by giving them a thumbs up or a big smile.  Another great way to show gratitude is by passing on the kindness. Maybe your child received a bag of candy; they can spread the kindness by sharing a few pieces with a friend.

Volunteer or sponsor a family

Another way to teach your children gratitude is by volunteering as a family. Volunteer to serve or deliver meals, help paint houses, sort donated items or find a volunteer project that is a better fit for your family.

Another option is to sponsor a family during the holiday season who may not have enough money to buy gifts or host a big holiday meal. Helping others makes you feel good. It’s also important for kids to learn that others in their community are struggling, and sharing with them (whether it’s money, a gift or a kind act) can help brighten their day. It also teaches them to feel grateful for what they have.